After years and years of studying when to use ‘do’ or ‘does’ in a question, writing dozens of study cards, I was an expert identifying Past Perfect Continuous vs Conditional Continuous Perfect. However, the day I decided that I would study a Master’s degree abroad I was unable to put everything together in conversation. I want to share with you some of the challenges you will need to overcome when initiating a new life in a foreign country and in a new language. I’ll give it to you straight, so you can prepare – prepare your mindset and meet whatever your goal is.  If you’re a foreigner I’m sure you will identify with this, and if you’re a local please read it! It will help you to understand some of those awkward moments with your international friends:

1. Challenging your self confidence

How many “What was that?”, “Pardon?”, “Sorry, I don’t understand?” will you resist before your self-confidence starts to quiver? No doubt, this is the biggest challenge when you move to a new country to speak a new language. In our day to day life we take for granted the ability of communicating and being understood. In this new adventure however, you may feel frustrated sometimes. Not everyone is patient enough to talk to you slowly and clearly. Not everyone feels comfortable talking to you and often people will nod without fully understanding what you were trying to say. But here is a tip: You can make everything easier for you listeners. Make fun of your mistakes, and let them know you’d appreciate when they correct you. Let them know you won’t feel bad, and it will prevent awkward moments.

 2. Introspection

When one is not fluent in a language, many of the conversations occur in the mind. Certainly, you learn to talk less, and think before speaking.  Since talking – at the beginning – won’t be a natural act, you will have to put in the effort, and really concentrate on the conversation. Therefore, from time to time you will feel tired of talking, and you will want time off, time to be with yourself only. But don’t let this become a habit, make your brain work as hard as you can. The more you do, the faster you improve. While you are learning the language, you will also find it difficult to follow your first conversations, because while you structure a coherent sentence in your head, the conversation will have changed to a different topic, and then it will be too late to make your comment. The upside is these experiences isthat they will make of you a good listener.

3. Finding a Job

There are three key points here.

1. Not many countries recognise University degrees from a foreign country, or they have a specific list of careers they will validate. So, if you have the opportunity of studying something more than a language course, please do so.
2. Moving to a foreign country means you need to start from zero. For example, your previous working experience won’t have the same value, if it has anything at all. (Of course If you have worked in a multinational company with a branch in your new country, that is an advantage). So finding a job fast is important, even if this not in your area of expertise, because you will need references that can prove you are a good worker and you understand the dynamic of the new culture.
3. It is one thing to be interviewed in your own language when you have the ability to sort tricky questions and show your strengths, but in a foreign language you could find yourself short of the necessary vocabulary to respond. Therefore, as the interview won’t be your strength, you will have to start with a great image from the beginning. Your resumé needs to highlight you professionalism and creativity.

4.Making local Friends – it doesn’t happen by chance.

Establishing friendships is not so easy when you cannot find the right words, or when you are missing the context. Humour, for example, is key to developing relationships, but it can get a bit challenging when you don’t have the context, and you don’t get the jokes. Or, if you have a sarcastic humour like me, but you learnt English at school or at uni, you probably have the vocabulary of a nerd. Tip: Watch or listen to comedy shows, and stand up comedies. You will get the culture’s sense of humour. Often, when hanging out with people, they will get deeply involved in conversations about TV shows they used to watch and games they used to play when they were kids. And you, you have never heard about them. In parties, people will sing out loud 90’s songs that were popular in the country, yes that song you hadn’t heard ever before. Little things like this might make you feel out of context. Good news! It won’t take too long to get into the group and you will be joining them sooner than you think.

5. Presentations and public speeches.

One of the biggest challenges I personally faced and continue facing is speaking in front of big groups and strangers where everyone speaks English. Initially you will be very self-conscious, but with time you will realise people are much more respectful and friendly than you expected. Will you feel nervous? Yes. Will you need to practice more? Definitely. And that is the key, practise, practise, and practise.

6. There is no other option but to reinvent yourself.

You will need to build a new personality. In this journey you will get to know yourself, and recognise yourself within the new culture. You will need to find your favourite food, your favourite places, your jokes and humour, even your kind of people again. It will take a while for you to find your place. But it depends on you to make of this a perfect opportunity for a fresh beginning.

7. You will miss everything.

The first six months everything is new and you will enjoy exploring. After a while however, you will miss your family, friends, the food, music and even the weather. On more than one occasion you will say, ‘this place would be perfect if my friends or family would be here’. Missing will be part of your life and you will remember your hometown with nostalgia. Inevitably, these experiences will change you. You will overcome so many insecurities and obstacles that I can guarantee you will become stronger and braver. Some say that after living abroad and coming back to your hometown you discover you don’t belong there anymore, and you will ever feel you’re a foreigner in your new place. Some people would say you don’t belong anywhere. But let me tell you something someone told me before: ‘You’re not some people, and it is up to you to feel that you belong. Even more, If you decide to do so, you can belong everywhere you go’.